Corporate Blawg UK: 'Orrible office phrases

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15 December 2006

'Orrible office phrases

Is Corporate Blawg too sensitive, or does Corporate Blawg have a dirty mind? Both probably.
         Either which way but inward, Corporate Blawg wishes to express that there are one or two phrases used in the office environment which on a hung-over morning such as this, Corporate Blawg would like to see expurgated. Corporate Blawg finds that such expressions conjur up strange mental imagery which he does not approve of, especially today. Let's see what they are: "touch base", "grab him", "finger him", "in bed together" or "sleeping with", "shafted", and "beasted".
         In a politically sensitive industry, which has not caught up with the current tide of post-feminist pseudo-modernism, Corporate Blawg finds that these phrases are odd when better phrases are available, like "update", "bring him", "allocate", "close relationship" and "worked hard".
         A static believer in the slippery slope syndrome, Corporate Blawg suggests that unless such phrases are removed from common usage, the danger is that lazy analogies may become even more extreme, leading to common usage of terms by analogy such as "fist-ing" "rimming" "docking" and, as Corporate Blawg's dark and twisted friend at Taylor Wessing recently explained to him, "double-dragonning".
         Although the amusement factor is apparently high, this does not excuse the fact that such phrases are inappropriate and potentially perceived to be misogenistic. On no account should these phrases be used in the work place, or within earshot of anyone generally who may take offence, because that would be f*cking stupid.

Posted at 11:51 AM in Oddballs | Permalink

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