Corporate Blawg UK: Sensible is as sensible does

Like a bee collecting nectar, or a KFC carton underfoot, so the natural process of life continues, driven forward by necessity and love of dirty chicken. Likewise the less than wise but immensely likeable Corporate Blawg is propelled through space in a rapidly-aging time machine made of flesh, bone, a speck of grit, and the severed head of a lego man who died in 1982. It is the summer solstace on Thursday, when the year turns and starts to age like a tasty Romanee Conti. So also Corporate Blawg, that undiscovered element, that benign but ridiculous fuse of a muse of nature and techology, that weapon of gas and suction, yes, so Corporate Blawg is contemplating growing older, growing up, and growing man-breasts.

Wherefrom did this motion strike him? It was a flash of realisation, a bolt from the heavens when in response to a plan to meet in a bar Corporate Blawg found himself uttering those now immortal words: "Yes - that seems sensible".

Take a moment. Pause. Reflect. "Yes - that seems sensible". What Corporate Blawg should have said was "Cool", "Mega" or "Great" (at least imaginative). But no, "sensible" had become a word for good, and cool was off the radar.

Following that second at a distance, like suited men in a 4x4, Corporate Blawg looked to his feet in moribund horror of his inherent change. Injury compounded insult as Corporate Blawg noted after three months of wearing them, that he had on sensible shoes. Not trainers to look mega in, not trainers to ride skateboards or sprint from sweetshops, but mountain walking sports trainers for sensible walking to work on concrete floors and cemented walkways.

Then in his head he heard a voice, and remembered his Grandad's brown cardigans... It happens to us all, my son. Resist for as long as possible, but when it hits you, embrace it. Perhaps it is a side-effect of marriage. Clothes are for comfort, and love makes you fat. Ah well, happiness is where the heart is.

On that note Corporate Blawg is going to hand over to Corporate Papawg to write about something more sensible.

On Saturday night/Sunday morning Corporate Papawg stumbled home from his friend's 30th birthday party. There he switched on the TV to see a movie about Bob Dylan (playing a rising folk singer), also starring Val Kilmer and Christian Slater. Corporate Papawg only watched 15 minutes before another East Londer stuck his fingers in the mains and caused a power cut. However, in those final 15 minutes of electricity Corporate Papawg read on subtitles a rant from Val Kilmer, clearly drafted by the great Bob himself. The conclusion of this rant was that "the only thing that separates man from the animals is the knowledge of death".

At the time Corporate Papawg thought this was f*cking genius. But, whilst getting himself a sensible haircut the next day, Corporate Papawg thought about it again and realised it was utter bollox.

Elephants mourn their dead. Magpies only ever have one mate, even if one dies. Dolphins push sick dolphins to the surface to help them breathe. Of course animals know about death, because otherwise they would not learn from fear. The instinct of fearing harm and death and seeing harm and death creates knowledge. In fact, the knowledge that comes from instinct is one of the few sources of knowledge where we can be sure of its truth.

Ditfurth (1976) says that "our brain is a tool for thinking, but not its cause. Our brain has not invented thinking, the thinking invented the brain."

Still quite poetic but less pithy than Bob I'm sure you'll agree.

Similarly, Corporate Papawg recently watched Apocalypto, the Mel Gibson movie about Mayan people. Good movie, but Corporate Papawg was disturbed by the violence. Once upon a time in the East Corporate Papawg loved his horror films and action movies but not now... Now the last thing Corporate Papawg wants is to see any sort of realism connected with mutilated limbs and spraying blood. Anyway, Corporate Papawg should have known it was going to be an odd film. Any movie that has a tag-line of "No one can outrun their destiny" is an absurd non-sequitur that causes Corporate Papawg to break the offending DVD with a hammer and chisel because he's watched too many violent movies and thinks that violence solves problems.

Corporate Blueg believes that navy blue is the best corporate colour.